My Dear Sister

This is a letter I just wrote to a younger Sister in Christ.  I thought I'd share with you what God has been showing me.  ~April~

My Dear Sister--


I hadn't actually forgotten to write something for your book.  I forgot to remember to do it. Haha, anyway...

I have been thinking for a while of what to write to you, of things I would want you to go back on and consider in the future, of what I would want to put out there for all posterity.  Frankly, I got nothing.  No words of wisdom, no great mantras to live by.  I’m finding out, day by ever loving day, that I am no expert on anything; that there is always someone else who is more knowledgeable in some area than I; that I am not the self-proclaimed “know it all” that I once thought I was.

Instead, I want to tell you about the things that God is showing me, even this very minute.  Some things I will be able to elaborate on, because He has shown me most or the entire picture He wants to reveal to me.  Other things will be short, as I don’t even fully understand what He’s saying, let alone own it in any way.

• He’s showing me that I can be a friend.  I can take care of people.  I can add more things to my already (seemingly) busy schedule to take care of someone who is sick, or needs a meal, or needs me to take care of their kids, or whatever else comes my way.  I cannot use the excuse that “I can’t, because I have 6 kids.”  God has given me a large capacity to handle lots of responsibilities.  And, as such, He expects me to respond accordingly when opportunities to serve come up.

• He’s showing me that the illusion of “God” that I grew up with is a joke.  He’s not this distant, cosmic being, who stoops down on us lowly mortals to check in every now and then.  He’s real, He’s tangible, and He’s right beside me every step of the way.

• He’s teaching me to rely on others.  I’m very self sufficient and capable, and have a hard time asking for help in any area of my life.  But, even more important than learning to lean on others, He’s teaching me to fully rely on Him for everything.

• He’s revealing to me that I have to draw from Him EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY. He’s showing me that I HAVE to talk to him, even if I think that (in the grand scheme of eternity) my requests, complaints, thoughts, desires, etc., are inconsequential.  He still cares about me.

• He’s helping me become a better mother to my kids, helping me see the big picture with them, helping me not focus on the behavior, but rather to see the person inside.  He’s helping me nurture the spirit within.

• He’s pounding me with how I speak to my children.  A friend of mine quoted a scripture in a recent blog entry.  Jeremiah 1:9...”Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, 'Look, I have put words in your mouth!'"  Ok, so if that’s true, then the opposite can be true, right?  If God can put words in my mouth, can’t Satan do the same, if my guard is down and I let him?

• He’s helping me become the person that He wants me to be, not the person I think I am.

• There are times when I look at other women around me and I begin to feel like I’m lacking in areas.  Let me rephrase.  I know I’m lacking in a lot of areas in my life.  I’m a terrible house keeper, my room is always a wreck (despite all my efforts to keep it clean), I always have tons of laundry to wash/fold/put away, I’m terribly inconsistent with so many areas of my life....the list of my short comings is endless.  But I look at other women and begin to “idolize” them.  I think, “Wow, (insert name here) has it ALL TOGETHER!  Look at her (life, children, house, room, relationships, etc.).  Everything is so easy for her.  Something must be wrong with me, because I can never be like her.”  I hear this conversation in my head so many times during the week that it’s hard sometimes to tune it out.  But you know what God is showing me?  He’s showing me that, while those ladies (or men) seem like they have it all together, it not completely true.  They struggle with the same things that I struggle with.  And while they may excel in an area that I am a complete and utter failure in, I have something from God that they need.  We are all here to help each other, not to look at each other in pitiful envy.

Ok, so that’s all I have.  I love you very much.  I so very much want us to become closer than we already are.